Week 4 - MTC

In case you didn´t know that means endure to the end...and that is exactly what I am doing. This week was definitely one to be remembered...For both good and bad reasons.. I have been so humbled this week!

Okay so you know how I always say service makes me smile?! Well I have changed my mind. We spent our whole service time and a half scrubbing the bathroom floors. And not just like mopping and stuff, we had giant brooms and like 2 gallons of soap and 60 gallons of water! No joke we were swimming in water in the bathroom! my cute little black and pink childrens shoes were drowned by the grotty bathroom water! We washed the floors like 6 times! At least I now know the bathrooms are squeaky clean! (and I am just kidding, I still love service the most!!)

Our zone is the best! We are still the only hermanas and all the guys are really cool. It is so nice to be here with people going through the same experiences as me! They are in the same week, feeling the same burdens I am. We have a little testimony meeeting with our district on the weekends and it is such a testimony building experience! I love it so much! My testimony has definitely grown these past couple weeks. And my spanish has too! So I taught the Law of Chastity (which is insanely difficult to do in English) and the Word of Wisdom to my investigator Sadami (sounds like salami). And you know what!? I didn´t mess up! Yeah it was kind of awkward, especially coming from two very young sister missionaries. But guess what! I learned the investigators don´t have to just take our word for it! The scriptures back up everything you say! Scriptures combined with Testimonies bring the spirit. And the Spirit is who converts the investigators. I know I can´t do this alone!!

So you know how I said that I have been truly humbled this week, well Sunday was the hardest day of my life. I am fighting the cold that has been spreading around the CCM but on top of that I just had the biggest chastisement of my life. I always thought I was doing what was right. I didn´t mess around or purposely go against the will of God. So sunday came and I went to my zone leadership meeting. President Romaro (who is like a big scary russian looking mexican, but super nice in a terrifying way) told us that we weren´t being good missionaries. He was way concerned for us. I started feeling even worse. I think my guilt was taking over. I know I am not perfect but I seriously feel like I could be doing so much more! He then came to our District meeting. He shared this scripture with us: Moses 5:18. You know how everyone tells you to substitute your name for whoevers name is in the verse...well this is definitely a scripture you DO NOT WANT TO DO THAT IN!!!! Just read it and you will see!! 

Pretty much we were told that we were loving Satan more that God! No one has ever told me that in my life! And it made me even more sick! The guilt was killing me! That is when I repented! And I cried for forgiveness. I have never appreciated the power and love that the Atonement brings. I won´t explain all my trials and temptations I have experienced here but I just want you all to know that I KNOW that my redeemer lives. I know that Heavenly Father answers my prayers. Saturday night I prayed to know what I should do and the next day my prayers were answered, and not in the way I would have liked, but in the way I needed it to be. President Romaro pulled me aside after church and talked to me about some stuff and I have never felt so much love! This has blessed my life and changed my mission for the better! He gave me a talk to read by Elder Bednar. Look up The Character of Christ. It is a BYU-I address. It is SOOO GOOD!!

Monday was still hard and I still felt sicker that sick, but it was all good! I know that I can be strengthened through Christ! We taught Carlos about repentance. Its hard to sound all loving and like they aren´t a bad person, especially when you don´t know the words in spanish. But we were able to testify that we can feel clean and free from guilt! That is what changes investigators. They know how to change and its so cool! We had him read a couple scriptures about repentance and hma Long shared a personal story. Hermano Saucedo (carlos) told us afterwards that we did good, but that Carlos felt like he was a sinner and that we didn´t really care! And that totally killed my mood! I thought I had a good lesson, and I was trying to avoid hurting him...We made a plan to fix our lesson next time.

Tuesday: Devotional was amazing!! I love when the speaker is live!! So much better than a prerecorded devo or one from provo! I learned so much about how missions will bless my life! I received the greatest blessing/promise ever!! I was promised that by the end of my mission I will be FLUENT in spanish!! And this won´t just bless me while I am on my mission, but it will be a blessing the rest of my life. Because of my choice to serve a mission and my willingness to learn a language, My current family, and my future family will be blessed. This will change my life. Missions are like life-prep. I won´t finish my mission after these next 17 months, no my mission will continue throughout my life! I will never stop being a disciple and example of Jesus Christ! Boom Testimony Strengthened! 

Wednesday was equally blessed! Okay so we had to make up from our mistake last lesson! We talked about the power of the atonement! This is something I can actually talk about because I have experienced this in my life MULTIPLE times!! I get frustrated because everyone else can relate to investigators because they have experienced trials and gone through so much- but my life has honestly been pretty easy to this point so I don´t relate as well. But this time I could actually relate to them! 

I told Carlos about the time in my life that I felt alone, like no one was there and no one understood me. Then I told him that Christ is there for me. He always has been and always will be. Because of the Atonement He truly knows EXACTLY what I am going through and exactly how to help me. Read Alma 7:11-13. This is one of my many favorite scriptures! I almost have it memorized in spanish! In this scripture we learn that Christ didn´t just suffer for our sins, but for all our afflictions, trials, tribulations, challenges, temptations. This means everything to me. 

So I´ll end on that note! Christ lives and died for each of us. You are never alone in this life. Through Christ you can be made clean and free from all your guilt, sins, and sorrows. I have felt songs of redeeming love. I have received His image in my countenance. And I will not ever let his light leave my life. I love you all so much! I wouldn´t be the person I am today without the examples of everyone around me, especially my family. I am so glad they raised me to be strong in the gospel. 

Love, 

Hermana Poulson

P.S I got the letter my parents sent before I left today!! I feel the LOVE SO MUCH!!! Thanks for brightening my day! I LOVE YOU GUYS MORE THAN ANYTHING! Remember that if I didn´t love this gospel I wouldn´t be doing this!!